What if The One — the soulmate you might fantasize about finding someday — was actually The Two or The Three or The Four? Chicago P.D. actress Sophia Bush explores this question and more in the February 2017 issue of Cosmopolitan. Her column, “Why to Stop Seeking ‘The One’,” reflects on what she’s learned from relationships and breakups over the years.
“I came to appreciate that relationships often serve a specific purpose at a certain point in time,” she wrote. “Some are meant to heal you, some are meant to teach you how to build yourself up, and some are meant to show you how to trust your own intuition.”
Brooke Davis, Bush’s iconic One Tree Hill character, is a prime example of this. She goes through six or so boyfriends — some more serious than others — before meeting the guy she ends up marrying. (To avoid spoilers, I won’t name names if you haven’t seen it yet. The show’s on Netflix; get on that!) She chose to share snippets of her life with certain people. Those choices helped shape her into the person she was by the end of the series.
But in real life, there’s no series finale to resolve every story line and wrap things up in a pretty little bow. Life often doesn’t work out the way we expect it to, but we learn from it and move on: “The relationships that don’t lead to lifetime commitments are not failures. Not every love can last forever.”
“A few months with the right person can be as great an experience as a decade-long union with someone else,” Bush continued. “When you take the pressure of The One off, you’ll open yourself up to endless possibilities. You’ll learn to have a truly deep, knowing relationship with yourself first. Then the rest will fall into place.”
Perhaps The One isn’t someone you should be looking for, because it’s someone you already know: yourself! For more nuggets of wisdom, read Bush’s full column via Cosmo.